Hi. Assalamualaikum.
I ni jenis yang susah menangis. Selagi boleh bertahan memang sumpah takkan nangis. Sometimes terfikir, tak normal ke I ni kenapa tak nangis. Setahun boleh kira berapa kali je nangis. Sekarang ni I tengah ada problem yang taknak lah cerita kat blog for now. Nanti dah sedia I cerita okay. Masalah yang sangat menekan maka I sangat tertekan tapi still tak ada setitik air mata pun keluar lagi. Ada je rasa nak nangis tapi selalu cam otak ke hati I ke apa potong cakap jangan nangis, you're stronger than this, apa pointnya nangis, tak selesai masalah pun. So I ended up tak nangis.
It's not like I nak cakap yang orang kuat menangis ni lemah. NO OKAY! I tak rasa macam tu langsung. Tapi untuk diri I sendiri memang I strict gila. Tak boleh nangis, kau kuat kau boleh hadap semua ni. That's just me. Degil and ada satu pendirian yang tak suka orang lain nampak I lemah, I sedih, I sakit. Kadang-kadang bila I sakit pun I selalu tak nampak macam sakit because I push myself to not look sick. So, orang keliling selalu ingat I sihat je waktu I sakit. Memang jenis yang tak suka orang simpati or menyusahkan orang. So I prefer pendam and hadap sendiri. My husband pun selalunya tak tahu apa I rasa sebab I suka macam ni.
Should I change? No right? Setiap orang ada character masing-masing. So let me be me.
Kesimpulannya, I will not cry until it is too much to bear. Please doakan semuanya baik-baik je untuk I. My heart hurts so bad I don't know how long I can tahan. So please pray for me.
Love,
Nurul
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
My New Blogger Template
Saturday, May 6, 2017
Hi. Assalamualaikum.
So today I changed my blog template. I bought my blog template from Etsy. And I think it's cute so I love it. I bought it for $4.99. It was actually priced at $30 and I'm lucky I found the template and it was on sale! Huge mark down guys how can I not buy it?! Hence, I think I'll use this template for a long time because I bought it. All this while I just used free blogger template so I feel nothing. But for this new template I'm excited! I hope I'll love it for long because knowing myself I'm the type who gets easily bored with things. Haha let's see...
So what do you guys think? Yay or Nay? 😍
So today I changed my blog template. I bought my blog template from Etsy. And I think it's cute so I love it. I bought it for $4.99. It was actually priced at $30 and I'm lucky I found the template and it was on sale! Huge mark down guys how can I not buy it?! Hence, I think I'll use this template for a long time because I bought it. All this while I just used free blogger template so I feel nothing. But for this new template I'm excited! I hope I'll love it for long because knowing myself I'm the type who gets easily bored with things. Haha let's see...
So what do you guys think? Yay or Nay? 😍
Say Something Nice or Nothing at All
Friday, March 3, 2017
Hi. Assalamualaikum.
Do you know that feeling when your in law (especially the mother in law) came to your house right, fellow wives? That uneasy feeling or super nervous feeling. Or probably it's just me. It's not that I don't like my in law to come to my house. It's just that it stressing me out due to the pressure that come with it. The pressure of what to cook, will our house meet their expectation, is our place comfortable enough, etc. You know lah, if our own parents come, it's like so chill nothing to worry about because your own parents knows you best but if the in law come it suddenly becomes a big deal, like everything must be perfect. MUST. BE. Can you relate? Please say yes. Well, let's skip this part.
So, last few weeks my father in law, mother in law, brother in law and his wife came to our house. We have a relative wedding the next day. No need to tell all the details so let's fast forward to the day they went back. My husband and I were asked to follow them to their hometown to visit the relatives. That's fine, it's been long since we last visited the relatives anyway (padahal the day before during the wedding dah jumpa everyone *sigh). So we followed. But the next thing happened was not that fine. Each and every house we went to, they kept on asking about when will we get baby bla bla bla. Below are basically what they said (some of it):
- "Bila nak dapat baby? Pergilah urut ke apa ke."
K.
- "Laa takde baby lagi ke? Kan dah dekat 2 tahun kahwin. Lama sangat dah tu."
K.
- "Tak sihat ke patut la takde isi lagi, senang sangat sakit." (I was not really well at that time due to too much travelling and working.)
K.
This is exactly why we don't want to visit the relatives. Such questions! It hurts so bad that my heart breaks into million pieces (don't know if can put it back together or not *sigh). So, I can't help but almost cry then, but I swallowed it and keep on sabar. I mean, come on, how can a human be so mean? Family some more. I thought family should support each other? No? And yes, I do understand that you guys want a grandchild or two or more I don't know but please where's your manner, where's you compassion? Tak kesian ke cakap macam tu to a couple yang still tak ada anak? Seriously? Well, you can just pray for us instead of questioning. Do you know how hurt we felt? I cried so bad when we reached home. I just couldn't stop thinking why are they so mean, why are they saying such hurtful things to us. So I kept on crying the whole day. Dude, for God's sake, we tried our freaking best to get a child, but no rezeki yet. How can we force such thing kan? We tried and tawakal to Allah because we believe that Allah will give us what we want/need at the very right time, no cepat no lambat. We pray for it endlessly and we just hope that people will at least understand our feeling and stop pushing us. Please.
The relatives, from what I can see are religious people. But why do they not act like one? I thought religious people should understand the rezeki concept better that us? So why are they asking again? Are they questioning Allah's plan? I don't know how to comprehend this anymore.
I seriously feel like talking back to them like "can you just shut up" or "why don't you je get a child" or "tanyalah Tuhan why we still didn't get a child, tanya kitorang pun macam mana kitorang nak tahu/jawab" or punch them in the face or just totally ignore them, etc. But of course we will be viewed as rude kan if we say/do such thing? HAHA. Sometimes I feel like these older people always want to be respected but they don't do anything to gain our respect. Like hello, you want our respect, then gain it. Tak kisah lah tua ke muda, semua kena tahu hormat orang lain then only orang lain boleh hormat you.
Okay lah whatever. Just suck it up, Nurul. So actually my point is, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. As simple as that. 👊
Love,
Nurul
Do you know that feeling when your in law (especially the mother in law) came to your house right, fellow wives? That uneasy feeling or super nervous feeling. Or probably it's just me. It's not that I don't like my in law to come to my house. It's just that it stressing me out due to the pressure that come with it. The pressure of what to cook, will our house meet their expectation, is our place comfortable enough, etc. You know lah, if our own parents come, it's like so chill nothing to worry about because your own parents knows you best but if the in law come it suddenly becomes a big deal, like everything must be perfect. MUST. BE. Can you relate? Please say yes. Well, let's skip this part.
So, last few weeks my father in law, mother in law, brother in law and his wife came to our house. We have a relative wedding the next day. No need to tell all the details so let's fast forward to the day they went back. My husband and I were asked to follow them to their hometown to visit the relatives. That's fine, it's been long since we last visited the relatives anyway (padahal the day before during the wedding dah jumpa everyone *sigh). So we followed. But the next thing happened was not that fine. Each and every house we went to, they kept on asking about when will we get baby bla bla bla. Below are basically what they said (some of it):
- "Bila nak dapat baby? Pergilah urut ke apa ke."
K.
- "Laa takde baby lagi ke? Kan dah dekat 2 tahun kahwin. Lama sangat dah tu."
K.
- "Tak sihat ke patut la takde isi lagi, senang sangat sakit." (I was not really well at that time due to too much travelling and working.)
K.
This is exactly why we don't want to visit the relatives. Such questions! It hurts so bad that my heart breaks into million pieces (don't know if can put it back together or not *sigh). So, I can't help but almost cry then, but I swallowed it and keep on sabar. I mean, come on, how can a human be so mean? Family some more. I thought family should support each other? No? And yes, I do understand that you guys want a grandchild or two or more I don't know but please where's your manner, where's you compassion? Tak kesian ke cakap macam tu to a couple yang still tak ada anak? Seriously? Well, you can just pray for us instead of questioning. Do you know how hurt we felt? I cried so bad when we reached home. I just couldn't stop thinking why are they so mean, why are they saying such hurtful things to us. So I kept on crying the whole day. Dude, for God's sake, we tried our freaking best to get a child, but no rezeki yet. How can we force such thing kan? We tried and tawakal to Allah because we believe that Allah will give us what we want/need at the very right time, no cepat no lambat. We pray for it endlessly and we just hope that people will at least understand our feeling and stop pushing us. Please.
The relatives, from what I can see are religious people. But why do they not act like one? I thought religious people should understand the rezeki concept better that us? So why are they asking again? Are they questioning Allah's plan? I don't know how to comprehend this anymore.
I seriously feel like talking back to them like "can you just shut up" or "why don't you je get a child" or "tanyalah Tuhan why we still didn't get a child, tanya kitorang pun macam mana kitorang nak tahu/jawab" or punch them in the face or just totally ignore them, etc. But of course we will be viewed as rude kan if we say/do such thing? HAHA. Sometimes I feel like these older people always want to be respected but they don't do anything to gain our respect. Like hello, you want our respect, then gain it. Tak kisah lah tua ke muda, semua kena tahu hormat orang lain then only orang lain boleh hormat you.
Okay lah whatever. Just suck it up, Nurul. So actually my point is, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. As simple as that. 👊
Love,
Nurul
210117
Saturday, January 21, 2017
Hi. Assalamualaikum.
The title of this post is actually my birthday; 21 January 2017. This was my second year celebrating my birthday with my husband. My husband is not the type that likes surprises or surprising people. So, when he surprised me on my birthday, it is a big deal. He decorated our car with balloons and pasted a Happy Birthday bunting at the back seat of our car, he played the OAG’s PerMYsuri song and gave me a Pandora bracelet as a gift (he knows I wanted the bracelet so much). He also posted a post which is the 100th post on his instagram account (he said he reserved that 100th post for my birthday 😍). So cute lah this guy. And he’s only like that when he’s with me. Alhamdulillah thank you Allah for giving me such a great husband.
I really appreciate it, husband! Thank you. And, I love you so much, always! May our marriage last forever. InsyaAllah. Amin.
P/s: Sorry for the cheesy post (cheesy ker? HAHA), I just want to express my appreciation to my husband in written form. Haha.
Love,
Nurul
The title of this post is actually my birthday; 21 January 2017. This was my second year celebrating my birthday with my husband. My husband is not the type that likes surprises or surprising people. So, when he surprised me on my birthday, it is a big deal. He decorated our car with balloons and pasted a Happy Birthday bunting at the back seat of our car, he played the OAG’s PerMYsuri song and gave me a Pandora bracelet as a gift (he knows I wanted the bracelet so much). He also posted a post which is the 100th post on his instagram account (he said he reserved that 100th post for my birthday 😍). So cute lah this guy. And he’s only like that when he’s with me. Alhamdulillah thank you Allah for giving me such a great husband.
I really appreciate it, husband! Thank you. And, I love you so much, always! May our marriage last forever. InsyaAllah. Amin.
P/s: Sorry for the cheesy post (cheesy ker? HAHA), I just want to express my appreciation to my husband in written form. Haha.
Love,
Nurul
Not Pregnant Just Fat
Friday, September 9, 2016
Hi. Assalamualaikum.
Hmm well the title says it all. I AM NOT PREGNANT YET. BUT MY TUMMY LOOKS BLOATED LIKE I'M PREGNANT. How frustrating is that gais?! My husband thought that I'm pregnant cuz my appetite and my behaviour changed a lotttt. Unfortunately, he's wrong. I just ate a lot, not baby's fault. So, indirectly he is saying that I'm fat (How women think). "Sayang, perut sayang macam ada baby. Mesti pregnant ni. Yay." But nope, I'm not pregnant. And there goes the awkward moment....
Love,
Nurul
Hmm well the title says it all. I AM NOT PREGNANT YET. BUT MY TUMMY LOOKS BLOATED LIKE I'M PREGNANT. How frustrating is that gais?! My husband thought that I'm pregnant cuz my appetite and my behaviour changed a lotttt. Unfortunately, he's wrong. I just ate a lot, not baby's fault. So, indirectly he is saying that I'm fat (How women think). "Sayang, perut sayang macam ada baby. Mesti pregnant ni. Yay." But nope, I'm not pregnant. And there goes the awkward moment....
Love,
Nurul
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