Positive Pregnancy Test
Monday, March 27, 2017
Hi. Assalamualaikum.
Today I was supposed to puasa ganti. When I woke up to have my sahur, I decided to do a pregnancy test just in case I'm pregnant. And to my surprise, it's two lines! It's positive for the first time in two years! I scream and wake my husband up "Abang, bangun, ada dua line!"
But we are not gonna be too happy yet as you know the pregnancy test might be wrong so we don't wanna get our hopes high. I'll do the pregnancy test again tomorrow to confirm if it's really two lines and then I will go to the clinic to double confirm on that. Alhamdulillah syukur ya Allah if I'm pregnant, but if I'm not we will keep on trying, InsyaAllah will get pregnant soon. So, today I cancelled my puasa ganti because I'm scared it will affect my pregnancy if I really am pregnant (Aminn). Please pray for us. Thank you.
Love,
Nurul
Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) Test
Friday, March 24, 2017
Hi. Assalamualaikum.
So, the above quoted text is basically what is HSG. As promised on my previous post, I'll share with you what I have gone through during this test.
A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is an X-ray test. It looks at the inside of the uterus camera.gif and fallopian tubes and the area around them. It often is done for women who are having a hard time getting pregnant (infertile).
During the test, a dye (contrast material) is put through a thin tube. That tube is put through the vagina and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes. Pictures are taken using a steady beam of X-ray (fluoroscopy) as the dye passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes. The pictures can show problems such as an injury or abnormal structure of the uterus or fallopian tubes. They can also show a blockage that would prevent an egg moving through a fallopian tube to the uterus. A blockage also could prevent sperm from moving into a fallopian tube and joining (fertilizing) an egg. The test also may find problems on the inside of the uterus that prevent a fertilized egg from attaching (implanting) to the uterine wall.
My appointment for HSG was at 8.30 am on Wednesday, 08.03.17. I wasn't really prepared for test actually, I just came and did it. 😂
I gave my form and appointment slip to the counter then I was asked to wait in front of one of the X-Ray Rooms. I waited for like 10 minutes then I was called in. The nurse asked me to remove my clothes and wear the X-Ray outfit (I don't know what it's called). I removed ALL of my clothes except my headscarf as the nurse said it is not necessary to remove them. Then, I was requested to lay on the X-Ray table (it seems like an operation table or something), and I need to lay in the position like giving birth. Next, the doctor put in the a speculum (it looked like a duck mouth, if you've done pap smear then you'll know what thing am I talking about) into my vagina to open it (Oh God it hurts!) then, the doctor put in the dye through a thin tube. It hurts the entire time because I think I was panic seeing those apparatus and the doctor was a male doctor so it was uncomfortable and hence, the pain. I can feel the dye in my vagina as it feels full down there, I feel like peeing too at that moment. Haha. I was then injected with a medication (I don't know it's name) due to my vagina muscle was tensed and the flow of the dye cannot be seen clearly because of that. So they just had to give me some medication to calm my muscle down. However, this does not happen to everyone, this happened to me because I was tensed. And that shot was hurt (I'm afraid of shots and needles, so yeah). So, if you're going to do HSG please relax yourself or you'll end up like me, feeling the pain for the whole process. The procedure ended once they can see a clear picture and confirm their diagnosis. Mind you that there will be spotting for a few days, mine was 4 days spotting. I was informed that if I am bleeding a lot after the process I should come to see the doctor, this is a rare case actually. And luckily I am not one of the rare cases. Alhamdulillah.
My result: It is all normal. No blockage as the dye flowed normally through the fallopian tube into the uterus.
I am still yet to get the full diagnosis of my condition as well as my husband because the full result was sent to my Gynae. I will update again after my appointment with my Gynae on 31.03.17.
Love,
Nurul
My TTC Journey
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Hi. Assalamualaikum.
So, today I'll be writing about my TTC journey. I believe that different people have different struggles in life. Everyone seems happy and content when we look at their Instagram/Facebook account/post but the reality behind those social media posts? We will never know, unless, they tell us. To be honest, I'm not jealous of those who are currently pregnant, who have delivered their baby, etc. Because as I've said earlier, different people have different struggles. God gives us blessings and struggles uniquely for us. No one will ever encounter the same things, they might be similar but never the same. And as for me, I believe that God has given me so much blessings; I got married at quite a young age (25) when a lot of my friends are still struggling to find love at this age, my wedding might not be as grand as people nowadays, but I was blessed with not having to use even one cent of my money for my wedding when a lot out there need to starve themselves to get enough money in order to get married, I've gone into the next phase in life when others are still finding what's next for them, these are some of the blessings that I can think of right now (surely there's many more) and I'm so grateful for all of it. Thus, I decided to only count my blessings instead of my problems and be positive always. So now, Allah wants to test my husband and I with not having baby yet after almost 2 years of getting married, with lot's of relatives and friends asking about when will we get baby, which is very stressful, however, this is our struggle, so we must get through it. Hence, bye bye stress I'm not going to bother about you, I'll just keep on trying to get through this hurdle. InsyaAllah we will get pregnant soon! Amin. 💪
So, here's what we have done so far to get through this test:
1. Klinik Kesihatan
Our first step is we went to Klinik Kesihatan Kampar to get a referral letter so that we can go to Hospital Raja Permaisuri Bainun, Ipoh to get a full diagnosis on the pregnancy stuff, the whys, etc. We waited like almost two months to get the referral letter. Biasalah pergi government, if nak cepat silalah pergi private. When we were informed of the appointment, it was 3 days before the appointment which was so sudden. And we were busy with piles work at that time. But what to do, we got no choice, if we reject this appointment then we don't know how long more do we need to wait. So we decided to just go with the flow. Biarlah kerja tu semua menimbun pun because we believe that this is the price to pay before Allah grants us our wish. Kenalah ada effort kan kalau nak Allah tolong. 😇
2. O&G, Hospital Raja Permaisuri Bainun, Ipoh
On the appointment day, we went to the O&G department and get ourselves checked. It was a physical examination on both my husband and I. Unfortunately, it was a young Malay male doctor who examined us. By examined, I meant he checked my miss v, my husband birdie, etc. Oh God, it's embarrassing but never mind, this is for medical purpose so let it go let it gooo~ nooo I seriously can't let it go, it was embarrassing and I can't get over it.. he saw my vajayjay! T.T
Okay stop it!
Next I was asked to get an ultrasound scan. Then, we were asked to wait for my period to come and come again to do a blood test on my D2 of period and D21 of period. We were also asked to do a HSG test (you can google this to know more) and also semen test for my husband. I'll update on the procedure soon. Promise! So wait for my next post okay!
3. Traditional Massage
So, I got a traditional massage for my uterus. Basically the aunty massaged my tummy and put everything back in it's rightful position. The aunty is my mom's friend and has been in the business for a long time. She also used to massage my sisters during their confinement period. A lot of women who tried the massaged usually got pregnant after that but of course it depends on rezeki lah. The massage is just a medium to get pregnant but Allah decides whether we will get pregnant after the massage or not. And well, the massage hurts I warned you. So if you're TTC and wants to get a traditional massage, be prepared okay. Not to scare you, just for you to get ready mentally and physically.
4. Islamic Treatment
We went to see an ustaz in Johor to get some Islamic treatment. Actually, my husband frequently experiences sleep paralysis or in common Malay term "kena tindih". There's one time when I saw him like suffocated, I was very scared at that time. And most of the time I don't even realized that he "kena tindih" until he told me. Apart from that, I, on the other hand, always got weird dreams. Some of my dreams are:
- I was in a mall. I got into one room and there was a dead body there. Then the dead man suddenly came alive and chased me. I ran so hard and got into an elevator. The end.
- I was visiting my best friend who is currently pregnant (in my dream and also in real life). This dream felt so real because my friend was having trouble giving birth in reality and so does in that dream, it's already her due but she still haven't gave birth. So in my dream, I visited her. Suddenly there was one woman (one of our friends who came for visit, but I don't know who she was) gave me one of her twin which apparently has died. The baby is dead guys! I was trembling when I woke up.
- The week before I got all of the above dreams, 2 of our friends (1 is my husband friend, the other is my friend), they texted us saying that they dreamed of us got pregnant. 2 people who do not know each other dreamed of the same thing in the same week. How weird is that?
And there are some other weird dreams but tak larat nak type already. Haha.So that's why we decided to get treated before it become even worse.
Okay so all of these are what we've done so far to get pregnant. So hopefully we'll get pregnant soon. Please pray for us ya. Thank you.
Love,
Nurul
So, today I'll be writing about my TTC journey. I believe that different people have different struggles in life. Everyone seems happy and content when we look at their Instagram/Facebook account/post but the reality behind those social media posts? We will never know, unless, they tell us. To be honest, I'm not jealous of those who are currently pregnant, who have delivered their baby, etc. Because as I've said earlier, different people have different struggles. God gives us blessings and struggles uniquely for us. No one will ever encounter the same things, they might be similar but never the same. And as for me, I believe that God has given me so much blessings; I got married at quite a young age (25) when a lot of my friends are still struggling to find love at this age, my wedding might not be as grand as people nowadays, but I was blessed with not having to use even one cent of my money for my wedding when a lot out there need to starve themselves to get enough money in order to get married, I've gone into the next phase in life when others are still finding what's next for them, these are some of the blessings that I can think of right now (surely there's many more) and I'm so grateful for all of it. Thus, I decided to only count my blessings instead of my problems and be positive always. So now, Allah wants to test my husband and I with not having baby yet after almost 2 years of getting married, with lot's of relatives and friends asking about when will we get baby, which is very stressful, however, this is our struggle, so we must get through it. Hence, bye bye stress I'm not going to bother about you, I'll just keep on trying to get through this hurdle. InsyaAllah we will get pregnant soon! Amin. 💪
So, here's what we have done so far to get through this test:
1. Klinik Kesihatan
Our first step is we went to Klinik Kesihatan Kampar to get a referral letter so that we can go to Hospital Raja Permaisuri Bainun, Ipoh to get a full diagnosis on the pregnancy stuff, the whys, etc. We waited like almost two months to get the referral letter. Biasalah pergi government, if nak cepat silalah pergi private. When we were informed of the appointment, it was 3 days before the appointment which was so sudden. And we were busy with piles work at that time. But what to do, we got no choice, if we reject this appointment then we don't know how long more do we need to wait. So we decided to just go with the flow. Biarlah kerja tu semua menimbun pun because we believe that this is the price to pay before Allah grants us our wish. Kenalah ada effort kan kalau nak Allah tolong. 😇
2. O&G, Hospital Raja Permaisuri Bainun, Ipoh
On the appointment day, we went to the O&G department and get ourselves checked. It was a physical examination on both my husband and I. Unfortunately, it was a young Malay male doctor who examined us. By examined, I meant he checked my miss v, my husband birdie, etc. Oh God, it's embarrassing but never mind, this is for medical purpose so let it go let it gooo~ nooo I seriously can't let it go, it was embarrassing and I can't get over it.. he saw my vajayjay! T.T
Okay stop it!
Next I was asked to get an ultrasound scan. Then, we were asked to wait for my period to come and come again to do a blood test on my D2 of period and D21 of period. We were also asked to do a HSG test (you can google this to know more) and also semen test for my husband. I'll update on the procedure soon. Promise! So wait for my next post okay!
3. Traditional Massage
So, I got a traditional massage for my uterus. Basically the aunty massaged my tummy and put everything back in it's rightful position. The aunty is my mom's friend and has been in the business for a long time. She also used to massage my sisters during their confinement period. A lot of women who tried the massaged usually got pregnant after that but of course it depends on rezeki lah. The massage is just a medium to get pregnant but Allah decides whether we will get pregnant after the massage or not. And well, the massage hurts I warned you. So if you're TTC and wants to get a traditional massage, be prepared okay. Not to scare you, just for you to get ready mentally and physically.
4. Islamic Treatment
We went to see an ustaz in Johor to get some Islamic treatment. Actually, my husband frequently experiences sleep paralysis or in common Malay term "kena tindih". There's one time when I saw him like suffocated, I was very scared at that time. And most of the time I don't even realized that he "kena tindih" until he told me. Apart from that, I, on the other hand, always got weird dreams. Some of my dreams are:
- I was in a mall. I got into one room and there was a dead body there. Then the dead man suddenly came alive and chased me. I ran so hard and got into an elevator. The end.
- I was visiting my best friend who is currently pregnant (in my dream and also in real life). This dream felt so real because my friend was having trouble giving birth in reality and so does in that dream, it's already her due but she still haven't gave birth. So in my dream, I visited her. Suddenly there was one woman (one of our friends who came for visit, but I don't know who she was) gave me one of her twin which apparently has died. The baby is dead guys! I was trembling when I woke up.
- The week before I got all of the above dreams, 2 of our friends (1 is my husband friend, the other is my friend), they texted us saying that they dreamed of us got pregnant. 2 people who do not know each other dreamed of the same thing in the same week. How weird is that?
And there are some other weird dreams but tak larat nak type already. Haha.So that's why we decided to get treated before it become even worse.
Okay so all of these are what we've done so far to get pregnant. So hopefully we'll get pregnant soon. Please pray for us ya. Thank you.
Love,
Nurul
Say Something Nice or Nothing at All
Friday, March 3, 2017
Hi. Assalamualaikum.
Do you know that feeling when your in law (especially the mother in law) came to your house right, fellow wives? That uneasy feeling or super nervous feeling. Or probably it's just me. It's not that I don't like my in law to come to my house. It's just that it stressing me out due to the pressure that come with it. The pressure of what to cook, will our house meet their expectation, is our place comfortable enough, etc. You know lah, if our own parents come, it's like so chill nothing to worry about because your own parents knows you best but if the in law come it suddenly becomes a big deal, like everything must be perfect. MUST. BE. Can you relate? Please say yes. Well, let's skip this part.
So, last few weeks my father in law, mother in law, brother in law and his wife came to our house. We have a relative wedding the next day. No need to tell all the details so let's fast forward to the day they went back. My husband and I were asked to follow them to their hometown to visit the relatives. That's fine, it's been long since we last visited the relatives anyway (padahal the day before during the wedding dah jumpa everyone *sigh). So we followed. But the next thing happened was not that fine. Each and every house we went to, they kept on asking about when will we get baby bla bla bla. Below are basically what they said (some of it):
- "Bila nak dapat baby? Pergilah urut ke apa ke."
K.
- "Laa takde baby lagi ke? Kan dah dekat 2 tahun kahwin. Lama sangat dah tu."
K.
- "Tak sihat ke patut la takde isi lagi, senang sangat sakit." (I was not really well at that time due to too much travelling and working.)
K.
This is exactly why we don't want to visit the relatives. Such questions! It hurts so bad that my heart breaks into million pieces (don't know if can put it back together or not *sigh). So, I can't help but almost cry then, but I swallowed it and keep on sabar. I mean, come on, how can a human be so mean? Family some more. I thought family should support each other? No? And yes, I do understand that you guys want a grandchild or two or more I don't know but please where's your manner, where's you compassion? Tak kesian ke cakap macam tu to a couple yang still tak ada anak? Seriously? Well, you can just pray for us instead of questioning. Do you know how hurt we felt? I cried so bad when we reached home. I just couldn't stop thinking why are they so mean, why are they saying such hurtful things to us. So I kept on crying the whole day. Dude, for God's sake, we tried our freaking best to get a child, but no rezeki yet. How can we force such thing kan? We tried and tawakal to Allah because we believe that Allah will give us what we want/need at the very right time, no cepat no lambat. We pray for it endlessly and we just hope that people will at least understand our feeling and stop pushing us. Please.
The relatives, from what I can see are religious people. But why do they not act like one? I thought religious people should understand the rezeki concept better that us? So why are they asking again? Are they questioning Allah's plan? I don't know how to comprehend this anymore.
I seriously feel like talking back to them like "can you just shut up" or "why don't you je get a child" or "tanyalah Tuhan why we still didn't get a child, tanya kitorang pun macam mana kitorang nak tahu/jawab" or punch them in the face or just totally ignore them, etc. But of course we will be viewed as rude kan if we say/do such thing? HAHA. Sometimes I feel like these older people always want to be respected but they don't do anything to gain our respect. Like hello, you want our respect, then gain it. Tak kisah lah tua ke muda, semua kena tahu hormat orang lain then only orang lain boleh hormat you.
Okay lah whatever. Just suck it up, Nurul. So actually my point is, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. As simple as that. 👊
Love,
Nurul
Do you know that feeling when your in law (especially the mother in law) came to your house right, fellow wives? That uneasy feeling or super nervous feeling. Or probably it's just me. It's not that I don't like my in law to come to my house. It's just that it stressing me out due to the pressure that come with it. The pressure of what to cook, will our house meet their expectation, is our place comfortable enough, etc. You know lah, if our own parents come, it's like so chill nothing to worry about because your own parents knows you best but if the in law come it suddenly becomes a big deal, like everything must be perfect. MUST. BE. Can you relate? Please say yes. Well, let's skip this part.
So, last few weeks my father in law, mother in law, brother in law and his wife came to our house. We have a relative wedding the next day. No need to tell all the details so let's fast forward to the day they went back. My husband and I were asked to follow them to their hometown to visit the relatives. That's fine, it's been long since we last visited the relatives anyway (padahal the day before during the wedding dah jumpa everyone *sigh). So we followed. But the next thing happened was not that fine. Each and every house we went to, they kept on asking about when will we get baby bla bla bla. Below are basically what they said (some of it):
- "Bila nak dapat baby? Pergilah urut ke apa ke."
K.
- "Laa takde baby lagi ke? Kan dah dekat 2 tahun kahwin. Lama sangat dah tu."
K.
- "Tak sihat ke patut la takde isi lagi, senang sangat sakit." (I was not really well at that time due to too much travelling and working.)
K.
This is exactly why we don't want to visit the relatives. Such questions! It hurts so bad that my heart breaks into million pieces (don't know if can put it back together or not *sigh). So, I can't help but almost cry then, but I swallowed it and keep on sabar. I mean, come on, how can a human be so mean? Family some more. I thought family should support each other? No? And yes, I do understand that you guys want a grandchild or two or more I don't know but please where's your manner, where's you compassion? Tak kesian ke cakap macam tu to a couple yang still tak ada anak? Seriously? Well, you can just pray for us instead of questioning. Do you know how hurt we felt? I cried so bad when we reached home. I just couldn't stop thinking why are they so mean, why are they saying such hurtful things to us. So I kept on crying the whole day. Dude, for God's sake, we tried our freaking best to get a child, but no rezeki yet. How can we force such thing kan? We tried and tawakal to Allah because we believe that Allah will give us what we want/need at the very right time, no cepat no lambat. We pray for it endlessly and we just hope that people will at least understand our feeling and stop pushing us. Please.
The relatives, from what I can see are religious people. But why do they not act like one? I thought religious people should understand the rezeki concept better that us? So why are they asking again? Are they questioning Allah's plan? I don't know how to comprehend this anymore.
I seriously feel like talking back to them like "can you just shut up" or "why don't you je get a child" or "tanyalah Tuhan why we still didn't get a child, tanya kitorang pun macam mana kitorang nak tahu/jawab" or punch them in the face or just totally ignore them, etc. But of course we will be viewed as rude kan if we say/do such thing? HAHA. Sometimes I feel like these older people always want to be respected but they don't do anything to gain our respect. Like hello, you want our respect, then gain it. Tak kisah lah tua ke muda, semua kena tahu hormat orang lain then only orang lain boleh hormat you.
Okay lah whatever. Just suck it up, Nurul. So actually my point is, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. As simple as that. 👊
Love,
Nurul
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